All I want

What They Never Taught You

When you look in the mirror and can't find a thing to love because you're looking at yourself through someone else's mind, stand really, really close to the mirror, and just look at your eyes. They're beautiful.

When you're feeling so low that you're walking around with your eyes on the ground, look up at the people around you. They're all dealing with problems of their own, and one of the only things giving them that strength is knowing that they're not alone, because people like you are having awful days too.

When you think you don't have the strength, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Of course you have the strength. You just need to sit still for a moment, be quiet for a moment, and put your thoughts in order - slowly.

When you don't have the confidence to go talk to that super-hot guy you like, think about your eyes, how beautiful they are, and then smile at him instead. When you feel beautiful, when you find something about yourself to love, everybody around you sees it too.

These are valuable lessons I've learnt over the past couple of months.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I was driving on autopilot earlier today, and before I knew it, I was outside your house. I could never remember how to get there, I always had to call...and yet, there I was, sitting in my car, staring at your gate. I sat there, crying, for a while, then got it together and started making my way out. I got lost, of course, and had to stop seven or eight times to get directions.

I was driving on autopilot later today, and before I knew it, I had stopped near my aunt's house, where we spent time talking and laughing and "testing the waters". I drove away before someone saw me and invited me in, asking me why I was sobbing, offering solace, tissues and advice.

I let go completely, and yet, every fibre of my being kept pulling me to you, to thoughts and memories of you.

I don't think I ever hated and pitied myself more.

I learnt a lesson today - only one of us is crying about this, and it's not you. So I've shut down that part of me, put it away. I'm numb and empty, and I don't feel like myself any more. On the bright side, though, you're not on my mind. I don't think about you, my subconscious has thrown you out...my unconscious mind now bears the pain and scars of my love for you.

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
...Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead"