Letters (Part I) - Help, I think...

"Hey...

Okay I know this is uncharacteristic of me, but I need advice, and you make sense.

I love him and hate him in equal measure.
On some days, I want nothing more than to just lock myself up in a room with him and just be in his arms all day long, not saying anything, not doing anything.
On other days, I hate his guts. I hate the way he talks and the things he says, and I just can't be bothered to even pretend I care about him or anything in his life.

For the past couple of months, I've been hating him more than loving him. Almost every day, I wake up and wonder why I'm with him...when did I forget all the things I loved about him? When did we lose our spark? Why do I not want to be with him any more, when he is the best thing that could have ever happened to me? When did I fall out of love?

I want to end it, want to walk away from the relationship before things get worse and the pain intensifies...but I know you'll say something different. Talk to me, woman. Knock some sense into my head, help me salvage this, because God knows, I love this man."


--


"You said it - you love him. That's all you need.

What you're experiencing is a rough patch. Every relationship goes through a couple of those - it's a sign of a mature relationship between two independent, strong-minded people. :) Don't throw something this good away because you haven't been "feeling it" for a couple of months.

Take a week off work. Go somewhere, just the two of you. Put away your cell phones and PDAs, tell everyone else you know that you'll be off the grid for a week. Then, spend the week reminding yourselves of all the things you found attractive in each other when you first met.

Once you're in a secure relationship, it's so easy to slip into routine and forget to flirt or tease every once in a while. Flirting, holding hands, texting, calling, teasing, making fun of pretty much everyone around you - everything you did in the beginning served one main purpose - it built reassurance, and reassurance, subtle or obvious, is probably one of the most important factors responsible for keeping a relationship alive.

Fall out of love? What a ridiculous notion. You've told me so many times that you think he's amazing, that you want to marry him some day. You haven't fallen out of love, honey, you've just hit a rough patch.

The two of you are so good together. Why throw it away when you can fix it? Love so intense and so pure is hard to come by. If it made you smile at one point of time, it has the potential to do so again. Go slow over these rough, bumpy roads - it's the best way.

So go. Plan a vacation. Leave your cell phones at home and go enjoy each other's company.

Flirt a little.

Laugh.

Love.

Talk.

Don't throw away what can be fixed...and remember to go slow."