Silver lining : Of heartbreaks and smiles

I've never really been a weekend person. I always liked waking up in the morning and having something to do, somewhere to be, someone to meet...that morning rush or getting everything done and flying out the door to meet the day.

This morning, I lay awake in bed for the longest time. The past week has been nothing short of torture, featuring a painful heartbreak and an unexpectedly shocking reality check.

It's the kind of pain that makes your mind go numb.

I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to just lie there, close my eyes, and cry. There were no more tears, of course. I'm all out. After days of crying, I can't say I'm surprised.

My mind, always eager to over analyze, wandered to everything that happened over the past few weeks. His painful words, that heartbreaking silence...everything. I felt a heaviness I can't describe, like my heart and soul had turned to stone. It weighed me down, made me feel like I was sinking, like I couldn't breathe.

Then I remembered last night...and the night before. I remembered that I hadn't laughed like that in a long time, hadn't felt so flattered, hadn't felt so...pretty. It's amazing what a little kindness, a smile, a compliment (or ten, or twenty), can do.

I'm smiling now... I found another silver lining. A new friend... An outrageous flirt.

The pain will take time to fade, yes. Until it does, I have these few people I can count on to make me smile...and I am so very grateful.