Deep Waters

It's that sinking feeling again.
Only this time, it's real.
Like standing in cool, deep waters
watching the sun light up the horizon,
and then being tossed around
by the same waters,
now furious, angry,
maddened by the wind's
mocking caresses.
Anger, fury, so much pain.

That sinking feeling.
When you have nothing left
to fight for.
Nothing to look forward to.
No reason to wake up,
except that the sooner you wake up,
the sooner the days go by,
the sooner you can leave
and leave all of it behind.

Your rescue boat capsizes
before it can reach you,
and you watch,
watch in horror
as your last silver lining
in the darkest cloud
snaps,
echoing the ache
somewhere deep inside.

And then your eyes fill up,
but you won't let yourself cry.
You look around you helplessly
as the choppy waters
threaten to tear you apart,
limb from limb.
Thunder and lighting roll in
and sets the stage
for the sad end
to what was just beginning to be
a happy life.

It's that sinking feeling.
You lost.
There's nothing you can do now.
Bear the pain.
Fight for yourself
because nobody else gives a damn.
Fight for yourself
because you're human,
and because you're foolish enough
to think
things will be alright again.

Hope.
Every fool's last resort.

Love.
Every pathetic soul's
reason to live.

Fight.
Stay afloat.
Curl yourself up
into a ball,
keep all of you
together.
Or it'll tear you apart.
They'll tear you apart.
He'll tear you apart.
Close your eyes
and concentrate.
On staying alive.